It may not feel like it, but it’s actually very possible to find time for self-care. Even as a woman raising kids, juggling a career, and running a household.
You’ve heard the term self-care. We all have. It’s almost become just another point in life as a woman to feel guilty about.
I mean, of course, I love the concept. The whole idea that “if I’m not filled up, I can’t fill any of you up”. It’s a beautiful thing. There is nothing selfish about it. And, it’s been scientifically proven that self-care can actually improve our work, life, and parenting.
The reality is, how in the hell am I going to find time for self-care!?!
Three things I used to do alone that I now do with an audience;
Eat anything that comes in a crinkly wrapper
There is *literally* not a moment in my day when I don’t have at least one person near me. How am I supposed to get pampered and have my self-care time?
Starting a powerful all about M-I-N-D-S-E-T
It used to be that when I thought about self-care, I would dream about indulgent days at the spa for a massage or even sitting in the corner of a coffee shop with a good book and some kind of baked good. Not a care in the world.
When trying to assimilate those expectations into the reality of my life … self-care seems impossible. So, I gave up trying.
Unfortunately, not having time doesn’t mean you don’t have a need.
We all need self-care in some form or another.
When I started screaming at my kids about how they ruin everything … that’s when I knew that I had to find a way to build self-care into my day.
I want my children to feel loved, safe and supported. I want them to know that I believe in them and that I think they are exceptional and capable of great things … no matter how many times I catch them eating their boogers.
But, when I’m yelling things like, “Everything was just fine until I had you!!”, that’s when it’s time to check myself and do what I have to do to take care of myself and my ability to process stress.
What Are Micro-Shifts?
I used to approach goal-setting like the end result was just one big task. I couldn’t mark the task off as done and celebrate my success until I had reached the goal.
So, if my goal was to lose 20 lbs, I didn’t succeed until all 20 lbs were lost.
This is a stupid way to approach goal-setting.
Not only is it stupid … it’s a really good way to set yourself up for failure.
Once I finally got sick of never reaching my goals … I went looking for a better way.
What I found was micro-shifts.
I have an undergraduate degree in organizational training and development. The concept of micro-shifts is implemented a lot in the workplace to help teams and groups get on board with big changes.
Instead of saying, “We’re making this huge change that will dramatically affect your workday. Get used to it.” Management personnel are making changes in phases, called micro-shifts.
So, for my goal of losing 20 lbs, the first micro-shift would be to stop eating sugar. Then, after a few weeks, I would start another shift of not eating bread. And, another of exercising two days a week. Then, three days a week.
These are small shifts that, when all put together, make HUGE changes.
Micro-shifting your way to self-care
Think about it, you have 1,440 minutes in a day. If you subtract 480 minutes for sleep (seriously though, none of us is getting eight hours of sleep), you’ve got 960 minutes available to you for self-care.
Now, before you close this post because “bullshit lady. maybe YOU have 960 minutes available for self-care. But, I’ve got a crap-ton of stuff to do and those 960 minutes are not even close to enough time”.
Hear me out.
Remember … micro.
That means tiny.
I’m only asking you to earmark 1% of those 960 minutes for self-care (aka “me time”).
Let’s round it up to 10-minutes.
I’m asking you to dedicate 10-minutes of each day to yourself.
The point of this is not to find the fastest freakin’ pedicure in town.
The point is to create the habit and be consistent.
Once you get the hang of making those 10-minutes a priority every day… you will miraculously find more than 10-minutes, trust me.
Not sure where to start?
Self-care ideas you can find time for:
Write in a journal
Take a walk
Practice a new language
Learn an instrument
Use a foot massager
Sit in the sun
Hunt for shells or rocks
Sing a song
Organize a drawer (if it will make you feel better)
Do Tai Chi
Do a random act of kindness
Knit or crochet
Watch funny YouTube videos
Visit a support group
Sit in a sauna
Do some people watching